WARNING !!!!!!

Due to increasing products liability litigation, the German beer manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that during Oktoberfest the following warning labels be placed on all beer containers and glasses:

WARNING:
Consumption of beer may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING:
Consumption of beer is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING:
Consumption of beer may actually CAUSE pregnancy.