In Our Defense

I would like to take this opportunity to respond to the allegations levelled against Mac and myself regarding the night of October 3rd.

After a long day of 'festing, cognizant of the long journey home the next day, and still recovering from the Oktoberfest plague of '05, we two intrepid explorers nevertheless set out that night in search of adventure and excitement, or, to be more specific, to hit on hot european chicks. However, on arriving at Shakespeare's, we were greeted with the following vista...

Nothing. A wasteland devoid of anything resembling feminine life. Still, we ordered our beers and sat down, resolved to pace ourselves and wait for things to pick up - at which point the bartender recognized us and brought us complimentary Jager shots. Things were going downhill, and picking up speed quickly. Despairing of being joined by any other members of the expedition (from whom we had received at best luke-warm assurances that they would follow), and fearful of additional "complimentary" shots of cough-syrup, we left (after ~45 min.) in search of the Nacht Cafe, a reputed (via Richard) paradise for those in search of adventure and excitement (as defined supra). We undertook this perilous (and, ultimately, unsuccessful) quest, braving the harsh Munich elements in our already fest-and disease-weakened states, solely for the good of the group, so that future expeditions would have an alternative when Shakespeare's turned out, as on that night, to be a bust (or, more accurately, to lack them).

So, what is our reward for selflessly risking our own lives for the benefit of future Oktoberfest expeditions? Heinous allegations and despicable accusations from one we had shared bier with just hours before. I ask you, Barleyman, if that is your real name, have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you no sense of deceny?

In closing, Cheers, Big Ears'.

The defense rests.