My friends,
I have raised my children to respect their elders. To listen to us and learn from our wisdom. In many cases, being a liberal, I expect them to explore new avenues to learn; knowing that my foundation of teaching will give them the basis for good decisions.
However, there are certain sacred topics where I expect them to follow our teaching without variance.
But, my friends, I found out that my son, Private Hops, had violated my trust. While cleaning up the back patio, I found a cooler filled with beer. OK. But then I inspected the beer and found it was....... Keystone Light. I gasped. I could not look at the cans directly (like Medusa). It was horrible. My son! Sure, I can understand if you're drinking someone else's beer at 3am and that is all there is. But he brought it ONTO MY PROPERTY. He exposed the women folks to this evil brew. Lord knows what the neighbors think.
But there is hope. We turn him from the dark side in Munich. I trust you will all be with me on this. Please turn your prayers towards salvation.
PS For our friends in The Netherlands, Keystone Light is water made to look like beer.
7 comments:
BarleyMan,
I feel your pain. A parent's highest expectation is for their offspring to do better than themselves. If this does not occur, we sometimes feel we have failed. But do not fret too much. There sometimes are uncontrollable outside influences that can have a debilitating effect, even when we try our damnedest to show them the way.
In times of despair like this, it is good that you seek the console of your friends and fellow Oktoberfestians. When troubled like this, I try to imagine, "What would Larry do?", and then I consult ,The Book.
To hopefully ease your fears, I quote from The Book, the original version that has seen many sojourns to the promised land, before the versions were numbered...
Page: 19
Paragraph: Odds and Ends
and I quote..."Men, don't be shocked to find cleaning women permanently stationed in the restrooms". What does this have to do with Private Hops' visit to the dark side, you may ask. Well, the very next sentence explains it all, Oh Grand Puhba... and again I quote... "You'll get used to it...".
So oh exalted one, the moral here is, yet another reason to consume the godly nector. Sit back, relax and have a brew, our prayers are with you. And do not fear, only 314 more days until we will show him the light.
Vindication!
It turns out this was not his beer. He was drinking Poway's own Lightning Brewery microbrew at the game, and these cans were from his friend.
Phew!
That was close.
We need pictures and sworn affidavits.
It seems like a very convenient excuse. Who's cooler was it?
Ahh, Sr loves to assume things. We used our cooler that day, it being rather large. My friends put their beer in there, while I had growlers of American Pale and Kolsch that I picked up from the new brewery in town. His failure is not me, but him not trying this new place yet. See, it is very good, and brewed in accordance to Reinheitsgebot. Sr has known about this new place for at least two months. His failure is amazingly blatant, while mine is full of circumstantial evidence.
Those beers were left in the cooler by others, as was ketchup and mustard and other such tailgating needs.
He has not visited Lightning Brewery for it FREE tasting. This occurs both Friday Evenings and Saturday Afternoons, so work is not an excuse. What a waste.
Jr
How do I look at deleted comments?
No can do.
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